Read The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books
Read The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books
Download As PDF : The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books
True fear is a gift.
Unwarranted fear is a curse.
Learn how to tell the difference.
A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.
In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.
Read The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books
"I spent 20 years on the streets in local law enforcement. I always felt that the Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO) we served on stalkers and spousal abusers were as worthless, in most cases, as the paper they were written on. Usually they simply served as a salve to sooth our justice system's guilt over unwillingness or inability to take strong and immediate action, or develop alternative solutions. As Gavin de Becker so aptly points out, when it comes to committed stalkers and abusers, not only are they not afraid of a piece of paper, it incents them to even a higher degree of activity and perhaps violence. The author makes an excellent case that we should be much more judicious in evaluating such cases against a threat matrix and respond in different ways depending on the nature of the threat.
I also greatly appreciate the author's discussion of the origins of fear and how important it has been in allowing mankind to develop. In addition to the twenty years I spent in law enforcement, I am also a Certified Body Language trainer and teach the power of nonverbal communication. As research has shown, what we call women's intuition is in reality the fact that women, on average, are far better at picking up nonverbal cues than men. That "intuition" was absolutely essential for the females of our species to survive in a very hostile world, where they were of slighter stature and needed to quickly detect threats around them. As the primary caregiver to children they also needed to be able to effectively interpret the cues and needs of infants and small children before spoken language.
One interesting study involved showing short film clips with the sound turned off to groups of men and women. Women scored an incredible 87% accuracy in evaluating the situation shown in the video. Afraid guys we only scored 42%. fMRI scans reveal women use 14-16 regions of their brains during communication, while men only 4-6 areas (most women probably would dispute giving us that much credit-:)
In modern society, in the interest of being "polite", we often suppress our natural intuition, our gut feelings. Back in my police career we didn't even have a term called Body Language. We only knew it as "street-smarts". One of my great fears has to do with my beautiful wife's suppression of her natural intuition around strangers, in the interest of being polite and non-judgemental. The nature of my our respective careers requires us to live in a dense urban area, surrounded by all sorts of threats. Dark parking lots, underground garages, elevators and streets filled with street people and drug addicts. While our building is very secure, once you are on the streets it's a whole different ball game. She has terrific intuition when she uses it. She is like a perfectly honed tuning fork when she is willing to trust her intuition, but due to her kind and trusting nature, she often suppresses it in the interest of being all-inclusive and accepting.
Gavin de Becker's loud message to women, Trust your gut, Don't suppress your intuition, Don't worry about hurting some stranger's feelings is a powerful one. It is my hope that my wife and every woman will be willing to read the book, reflect on all the powerful stories in The Gift of Fear, including the author's personal story."
Product details
|
Tags : The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence [Gavin de Becker] on . True fear is a gift. Unwarranted fear is a curse. Learn how to tell the difference. A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can</i> protect ourselves,Gavin de Becker,The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence,Dell,0440226198,Personal Growth - General,Self-Management - General,Violence In Society,Crime prevention,Fear,Fear of crime,Intuition,Victims of crimes;Psychology.,Victims of violent crimes - Psychology,Violence - Psychological aspects,Violence;Psychological aspects.,Violent crimes - Psychological aspects,Women - Crimes against,Women - Crimes against - Prevention,Women;Crimes against.,Cognition cognitive psychology,General,HEALTH FITNESS / Safety,MASS MARKET,Non-Fiction,Psychology,SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / General,SELF-HELP / Self-Management / General,SOCIAL SCIENCE / Violence in Society,Safety,Self Help,Self-Help,Self-Help/General,Social Science/Violence in Society,sociology; self help books; self help books for women; self help; survival ; gift books; science gifts; mega gifts; gift; gifts; history books; inspirational books; history; motivational books; positive thinking; gratitude; politics; habit; political books; inspirational books for women; self improvement books; inspirational books for men; self development books; sociology books; personal growth books; motivational books for men; personal growth; gift book; fear; survival gifts; self discipline,survival ;gift books;science gifts;mega gifts;gift;gifts;personal growth;gift book;fear;survival gifts;sociology;self help;self help books;self help books for women;self improvement books;positive thinking;habit;motivational books;gratitude;inspirational books;history books;history;political books;politics;self discipline;inspirational books for women;inspirational books for men;self development books;personal growth books;motivational books for women;motivational books for men,General,HEALTH FITNESS / Safety,SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / General,SELF-HELP / Self-Management / General,SOCIAL SCIENCE / Violence in Society,Safety,Self-Help/General,Social Science/Violence in Society,Psychology,Self-Help,Cognition cognitive psychology
The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books Reviews :
The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence Gavin de Becker 9780440226192 Books Reviews
- I spent 20 years on the streets in local law enforcement. I always felt that the Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO) we served on stalkers and spousal abusers were as worthless, in most cases, as the paper they were written on. Usually they simply served as a salve to sooth our justice system's guilt over unwillingness or inability to take strong and immediate action, or develop alternative solutions. As Gavin de Becker so aptly points out, when it comes to committed stalkers and abusers, not only are they not afraid of a piece of paper, it incents them to even a higher degree of activity and perhaps violence. The author makes an excellent case that we should be much more judicious in evaluating such cases against a threat matrix and respond in different ways depending on the nature of the threat.
I also greatly appreciate the author's discussion of the origins of fear and how important it has been in allowing mankind to develop. In addition to the twenty years I spent in law enforcement, I am also a Certified Body Language trainer and teach the power of nonverbal communication. As research has shown, what we call women's intuition is in reality the fact that women, on average, are far better at picking up nonverbal cues than men. That "intuition" was absolutely essential for the females of our species to survive in a very hostile world, where they were of slighter stature and needed to quickly detect threats around them. As the primary caregiver to children they also needed to be able to effectively interpret the cues and needs of infants and small children before spoken language.
One interesting study involved showing short film clips with the sound turned off to groups of men and women. Women scored an incredible 87% accuracy in evaluating the situation shown in the video. Afraid guys we only scored 42%. fMRI scans reveal women use 14-16 regions of their brains during communication, while men only 4-6 areas (most women probably would dispute giving us that much credit-)
In modern society, in the interest of being "polite", we often suppress our natural intuition, our gut feelings. Back in my police career we didn't even have a term called Body Language. We only knew it as "street-smarts". One of my great fears has to do with my beautiful wife's suppression of her natural intuition around strangers, in the interest of being polite and non-judgemental. The nature of my our respective careers requires us to live in a dense urban area, surrounded by all sorts of threats. Dark parking lots, underground garages, elevators and streets filled with street people and drug addicts. While our building is very secure, once you are on the streets it's a whole different ball game. She has terrific intuition when she uses it. She is like a perfectly honed tuning fork when she is willing to trust her intuition, but due to her kind and trusting nature, she often suppresses it in the interest of being all-inclusive and accepting.
Gavin de Becker's loud message to women, Trust your gut, Don't suppress your intuition, Don't worry about hurting some stranger's feelings is a powerful one. It is my hope that my wife and every woman will be willing to read the book, reflect on all the powerful stories in The Gift of Fear, including the author's personal story. - This book is an invaluable resource for women. The 4th chapter by itself is worth the price of the book alone. Titled "Survival Signals" this chapter will teach you the sophisticated manipulations that criminal predators use to try and gain control over you.
You will learn about
"forced teaming"- establishing premature trust based on sharing a predicament.
"charm and niceness" (remember, niceness does not equal goodness.)
"too many details"- When people lie what they say doesn't sound credible to them so they keep talking.
"typecasting"- Involves a slight insult to get the woman to respond by engaging verbally with the crim-pred.
"loan sharking"- (it's hard to tell a creep to eff off when he's done something helpful and now you are indebted to him.)
"discounting of the word NO"- refusal to respect the word no is a signal a crim-pred is trying to control you or refusing to relinquish control.
There is much more detail in this chapter, and I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to recognize these "interviewing techniques" that criminal predators use. Thank you Gavin de Becker for writing such an important and informational book. - Updated review
Now that I’ve finished the book entirely, I can say that it’s just simply not that good in my opinion. He starts off with what boils down to a sales pitch, with lots of cherrypicked statistics (with no sources) to convince the readers they should be scared in everyday life. This especially bothers me since my first degree was in criminal justice and I can actually recognize the bullshit, but most people won’t and will just fall right for it. Remember when your mom wouldn’t let you go play outside cause the news ran stories of abductions and she became convinced that you’ll die if left out of sight? Or when video games came under a lot of scrutiny for causing violence despite all the evidence pointing the other way around? That’s the sort of stuff it reminds me of.
About 50% of the book is the author explaining how good he is at predicting behavior and is filled with “I told you so†moments. If you don’t want to read a couple hundred pages of not-so-humble bragging I’ll just give you the gist if you feel uncomfortable in a situation, you probably made some connections subconsciously that you can go back and decompose later on. You should trust your gut instinct and if you find yourself in a state of primal fear, just do what your body tells you to do (as if you have a choice). - I am giving this book a five star rating because this book should be required reading in every American high school. De Becker's book has received criticism for gender bias in highlighting gender-based behavior that puts females at a substantially higher risk of harm. It is true that de Becker describes feminine behaviors, attitudes and actions that are culturally ingrained and reinforced in girls from childhood. Rather than look away, he makes it clear that women need to analyze their behavior and listen to gut feelings. In dangerous situations a woman's social conditioning can stifle that small inner voice of fear. You can't always be "nice". Through-out the book, de Becker provides unique insights into the unsavory aspects of American society that we ignore at our peril. He describes the toxic effects of media culture and celebrity based on decades of real life case-work. De Becker shows us the consequence of America's love affair with guns and the consequences of our collective apathy and negligence. He provides no-nonsense solutions that could save the lives of many, many children. De Becker has looked into the abyss for us with courage and compassion. I will be passing this book around to all the important women in my life.
Comments
Post a Comment